What am I living for?

I feel really suicidal. I know I'm not gonna do it but who knows maybe I will if it pushes me to a point I can't take it anymore... But I'm already at that point. I know right now if you guys are going to read this story your going to say "that's life" than my point exactly, life is to hard and I quit! My parents are getting divorced..and my mother is lying to get us away from our father. Love really stinks in my life, I feel like I will never ever have the guys that I really want. My parents wouldnt never let me be what I really want to be as my career when I get older. So much drama is going on at school. I am so insecure about the way I look. I have strech marks. My butt is huge my thighs are huge my belly is kinda big I have like a hunch back my nose is huge I have ugly dry skin. I have weird parents and I feel so insecure and my parents yell at me every chance they get for NO REASON! when I try to loose the weight they don't let me. They don't let me have a sleepover ? Or got to party's even birthday parties. Hate life their is so much more you guys don't understand. What should I do? Counseling ? My parents wont let me do that. They dont let me out of the house! Help help help!